i actually said i wanna quit my job as an event organiser days ago. was really thinking through hard way before the day i quit. its like, so hard to decide. it seemed to be a turning point in my life that i cant be so ignorant and not bothered about it. my dad wasnt as supportive when i said i thought of going back to work. instead, my mom was. but i know they'll support whatever decision i've made. i realised, im already nineteen. im no longer a kid. i still dont like the idea of not enjoying my so called last teenage life cux i feel its like the last opportunity i'll have with me. many many MANY decisions on my mind and i decided to take up the challenge once again. reach higher, thats what i tell myself throughout.

so i actually had a dinner with helen, mich, jacq, vincent & poochong the next day at vila'ge. and i actually told helen that i decided to take up the challenge again. im glad that she gave me a lil break for now, not to start work yet. that was what i wanted. i was unsure what my future wld be but i just keep telling myself to perservere. sometimes, believing what you can achieve is something you'll attain in future. im very aware that still, none of my friends support my idea of going back to work again. it doesnt really feel good when all your friends just tell you to give it up. anyways. something just strucked me by what zhisen said. ; you dont have to make people understand, so long as you yourself know what you are doing can le. thanks zhisen! it makes really lots of sense in me. HAHA. (:

so what have i been up to all these days ever since my break has started?! housework! haha. i've got a daily routine. doing housework together with mommy in the day and den out to meet friends or shopping at night! mommy really cleans the house inside out! oh! i've got a new quilt cover today! went clarke quay, chinatown and ikea with mommy today! we bought lots of stuffs! and my room looks so reddish pink now! HEH. my room's always been like this whenever cny arnd the corner. i just love the color! bright colors! HEHE. love it!(:

valentine's day was awesome! was actually intending to treat mommy & daddy for a dinner date but daddy turned me down. ): nvms! did housework together with mommy, as usual. we didnt really celebrate.. but i hope my companion is something that matters. went to meet darl in the evening for dinner. a pity we didnt get to dine at newyorknewyork cux its really crowded. we went aerins & another nearby.. packed packed packed! so we settled down at pizza place! there's this really cute waiter serving us. HAHA. he seemed so nervous! i can see he's trying his best to serve everyone. HAHA. but den, if you see the way he is, you feel like telling him, 'dont worry yah!' and you know what.. shopped for levis jeans and all with darl.. den after hours i realised my tweety shopping bag MISSING! forgetful me. and i went back to pizza place pining with hopes. phew. it was there! and that cute waiter of theirs trying to look for it for me.. and i saw it right in front of me. so i was like, 'umm.. it's here?' and he seemed embarrassed, 'oooh! hahahaa.' i think he's too tensed up or smth. but he looks really cute! okay i shall stop. anyways, thanks darl for the dior perfume! i simply love it! muackx!(:

i realised i've got a bad habit. i dont know if thats a habit but, i realised i tend to spend at least a hundred bucks at a shop, just at one go. perhaps i think it can jux save the trouble of looking at another shop. haha. i jux spent another hundred plus on tweety! YES TWEETY! aint it cute! its a new shop in town at the central! its gonna the new shopping mall in my list this year! :D went to buy another for my darl tdae. im a member but i was told i cldnt get a discount tdae cux the card's not ready. ?!!!!! -growls.

okay, at least this time i FEEL i dont have the urge to think about money matters. everyone thinks im earning more than a usual O level graduate. the last time i worked, i brought the cheque back and mommy was like kind of surprised. i've earned around 1k for 2 weeks this time. enough for my bills and my shopping spree. im gonna save some for cny! you know.. we student jux love playing cards. HAHA. for your info, i dont really earn a lot. but your eyes tend to shine so much whenever you get your cheque. (:

to my mich dear! are you missing me? :P hahaha. i did think of you every day alrights! thinking of how you doing if you alone in the office. ill be back real soon so u gotta wait for me! hehe! have fun this cny okay! and thanks for being there for me every step of the way. i love you to bits! and yah, i think i dont have the luck. im always working for those big shows and im always not there when everything is like a breeze. but its okay, with you around i know ill be fine. (: loves!

i dont know why i cant load my blog page! i can only view it if i preview my template. GRRR. but i still can view the tag just that its inconvenient. anyways ill reply my tag here.
to renny, hey there! i didnt forget ooga outing ehx! ill arrange it like before march. ill try! meanwhile, enjoy your cny dude! :D
to jieyi, ill look forward hearing from you. no rush my dear! whats important is to enjoy every day of yours. aha. :D love ya still!
to melissa, do tell me your available time. thanks so much for being there for me always! talktalk! i miss you!

my work is _____. i seriously dont know how should i explain my job. i can say its good, or i can say its bad in a way. people that i whine to shld probably understand what im going through for the weeks. its like a battle once i stepped into the office. i've got to handle my emotions really well, cause its like a fighting scene. everyday you'll handle conflicts, really fierce scoldings and unhappiness. i got scolded every single day, till i wanna cry or should i say i did cry. its like my stress level has never exceed the limit in me, and it has exceeded many many times for now. the most relaxing time wld be lunch break or dinner. it seems like personal is personal, work is work. many kinds of demands and challenges ill face.. but i has survived for weeks. i cant survive alone. I SWEAR I WONT BE ABLE TO SURVIVE IT ALONE. i've got my dearest loving michelle with me, i got yang, vyerern, kitson and guansoon supporting me everyday, listen to me.

my worklife.. i love it only when im on the cab?! probably. i met different kinds of uncles. i'll usually talk to them about my work. every uncle will tell me i got to hang on, perservere and not to give up. whereas, all my friends will strongly recommend me to quit. there's once when my boss was away overseas and i was out to meet a client. i was being scolded by my boss from a call and was asked to reach the office now. im like lost in a very very long india street and i couldnt seem to find an exit, couldnt get a cab! and imagine its sooo crowded.. and traffic jams all over. till then, mich called me and asked me so i vent my anger on her.. i rmb i said its really a heavy jam here. i couldnt take a bus.. i couldnt get a cab.. you want me to fly there?! im sorry mich. i know you seriously can understand my position and you cant help either. im sorry cause im too frustrated and stressed up that i wanna vent it out. and i was in the cab crying.. uncle was really nice to me and i wont forget this incident. he was there like father consoling me, telling me and giving me useful advices. it was pretty embarrasing to cry in the cab in front of the uncle actually. but im glad he's there to give me the support.. to try to pull me through this hurdle. thanks uncle!(:

ydae was a dnd at swissotel merchant court. days back no one's at the office with me, just me, alone. i got to handle and settle the things for the event dnd. i rmb the day before i was carrying bulky items.. those big and heavy stuffs around. this no manners angmoh snatched my cab! everyone's staring at me okay! a lil girl carrying so manyyy things and you still snatch the cab away from me! but blahh. i managed to get a cab and uncle told me he didnt like female boss. he gotta hear from my job scope and all and wasnt that pleased about it actually. but still okay la this uncle. and you know, the day my boss, mich & i called a cab and i saw the same uncle! he was there smiling at me and with silence. i bet he's thinking what kind of boss is she and was actually observing. heh heh. too bad i couldnt really talk to that uncle. im sure uncle understands more than i do (:

ydae event was a horrible one. not about how screwed up the event was, not about the wrong things i've done. its about the horrible experience i've ever been through in my entire life. my client.. the M.D was totally.. feel like giving a hard slap on his face. i shant talk about it here. cause i dont think its right to blog it. anyways.. it's over. im glad im saved in the end still. okay skipskip.

i think the most terrible incident was monday. it was the first day when i was at the office all alone by myself cause everybody went away for hanoi for event. the door's faulty! i was super shocked and frightened. i seriously dont know if theres anything worse can happen on me like this. i was so helpless cause i cant seem to call for help. my hp was JUST NICE on a low batt mode and i cld only make one call. can you imagine without the office, you cant plan or do anything for the next show. and you gonna be the only one to ruin the show. yeah i cried there.. but what else can i do. just rushed back home and sent an email, calling for vincent for help and tried to wait for a call from overseas. i got a bad lecture the next day and yeah.. i got a locksmith in the end. major breakdown that day. it was sucky.. real sucky for me.

if you asked me to write, i cld write a long story out on my worklife. yeah, everyday's a new chapter. i must admit sometimes i really really feel like giving up.. i broke down many many times. i seem to got myself hurt many times. somehow, my heart just tells me to perservere, to hang on. i don't really know how i should decide. i just know.. i'm still fighting on.
i can use my fingers to count how many days i went out shopping or meet up with friends. just 3! i rmb going out with my lil sis for shopping spree one sunday. got all my tops or dress in just one shop! cool. i'd never done this in my life. lolx. den met up with yang and vye for the next shopping spree! what else. going out for dinner with yang vye alvin and yx. and the last, was today! met up with eugene for dinner & helped him choose vday gift. talking about vday, time really flies. if you didnt remind me, i dont think ill rmb theres a vday coming right up. boooo. i wanna spend my vday with my lil rabbit! :D

to my dearest mich, i thank you for being there for me every step of the way. you'll always attend to my help when in need and try to cheer me up or make me feel better. ill be completely lost without you, without your help.. but ill definitely move on and perservere! i know we'll support each other! if we gonna cry, we'll cry together alrights? haha. and pls get rid of yr indian accent. sarfraz growling. bohoo. okie too nonsense! dear! many loves to you!(:

events events & events! work is tough.. but i guess the satisfaction and the experience pull me through somehow. thanks to people for all the concern. to melissa, ill try to meet you up asap! i know ill definitely love the watch you bought for me. to yingjie dear, we'll meet you up asap too! we gonna meet up our juniors too!(: rahh. gotta sleep already. there's a show at sentosa tomorrow morning. BRRRR. need to drag myself outta the bed!

i love my bed, you know.. ):